Managing Marriage Stress Starts with Self | Care2 Healthy Living

While having a long, happy marriage is one of the predictors of longevity and a source of great meaning and fulfillment in our lives, getting married often registers as one of the most stressful major events we can experience. Sustaining happiness over the bumpy road of decades together is no easy task, either. The potential stressors in a long-term romantic relationship are myriad: wondering if this is the right person, financial insecurity, wedding planning, jealousy, differing styles of managing money, sex and intimacy issues, infidelity, parenting, in-laws, overloaded schedules, health crises?

All too often, it?s easy to react to marital stress in counterproductive ways like denial, avoidance, suppression, compromising, venting, living like roommates instead of partners.

According to several recent studies, a stressful marriage can create more health problems for someone than if they had never married at all. Another suggests that a stressful marriage can be as bad for the heart as a regular smoking habit!

To keep your marriage or long-term relationship low-stress, strong and happy, it?s critical to learn to manage your attitudes and emotions and lead with your heart ? from that intelligent, self-secure place inside, where wisdom, intuition and understanding reside.

Stress indicates something?s out of balance. Your number one responsibility is to take care of yourself. To address the relationship issues you face with clarity, you need to get back in balance to adequately access your mental and intuitive faculties. In the moment of stress, learning to reset and go to ease can make all the difference between a happy marriage and misery, or even divorce. It?s about getting your heart and brain aligned so your intuition can speak, something we?ve taught thousands to do, including many certified marriage and family therapists. Here are some tips for a stress-reduced marriage or relationship from HeartMath:

• Developing a healthy, mature relationship with yourself and learning to self-manage your reactions is the number one way we?ve found to manage the stress of a relationship. When we can handle ourselves well, then we are more able to have an effective relationship with another person.
• Spend more alone time together. Many couples get so busy that they lead separate lives and understandably feel disconnected. Schedule regular dates and show your spouse they?re a priority.
• Learn HeartMath?s Quick Coherence technique to get you into heart-brain coherence quickly when you feel conflict rising.
• Read HeartMath?s article on Improving Relationships and download HeartMath?s Improving Relationships ebooklet for more helpful guidance.
• Put away the electronic devices that keep your attention off of your spouse. One that will actually bring you closer together is HeartMath?s emWave? 2, our award-winning stress-busting tool. Using this feedback device to get into heart coherence, you and your spouse can transform volatile fights into meaningful discussions that bring insight and resolution to your issues.

The most beneficial thing therapists who prescribe the emWave2 to their marriage counseling clients have discovered is for each of the parties to use the emWave2 device to get into heart coherence before they start talking with each other. The John Gottman Institute, which specializes in teaching MFTs and others to use best practices in relationship therapy, often recommend using the emWave2 as it helps make it easier to speak to and understand one?s partner when one is calm and centered.

When I was an advisor to The Dr. Phil Show, they would send people to us for training. They asked HeartMath to work with a couple they had on their show who were on the brink of divorce. I taught them Quick Coherence and other HeartMath techniques and provided each one with an emWave2 to first get in sync within themselves, and then with each other during communications. With some coaching, they totally transformed themselves and their marriage with these tools.

Knowing that you have tools available and skills you and your spouse can learn to handle whatever comes along in your relationship and lives should give you confidence that you can have a long-term, happy marriage. Other than that, all you need is love!

Emotions give meaning to our lives.? The power of emotion can enrich our lives beyond measure ? meaning, color, texture.? Understanding the power of your emotions is vital for having a fulfilling, healthy life.? Click to receive this Free e-booklet, The Power of Emotion.

Source: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/managing-marriage-stress-starts-with-self.html

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Obama turns his attention to jobs, economy

After a week filled with controversy and criticism, President Barack Obama left town Friday for Baltimore, the second stop on his "Middle Class Jobs & Opportunity Tour." The trip, which was previously scheduled, took him to a dredging manufacturer and an elementary school, with the next stop on the itinerary a community center.

At Ellicott Dredges in Baltimore, Obama announced an effort to reduce infrastructure red tape as a way to boost the economy.

"Sometimes it takes too long to get projects off the ground," Obama said during a speech, citing permits, red tape and planning delays related to infrastructure projects. "Today, I'm directing agencies across the government to do what it takes to cut timelines for breaking ground on major infrastructure projects in half. And what that means is that construction workers get back on the jobs faster, it means more money going back into local economies, and it means more demand for outstanding dredging equipment that is made right here in Baltimore."

The stop at the manufacturer adds the potential of controversy to his trip. The owner of Ellicott Dredges, Peter Bowe, shares the view of many congressional Republicans in support of the Keystone XL oil pipeline. Bowe testified before Congress on the issue Thursday. Obama has yet to announce a position on the pipeline?which would carry oil from Canada and the northern United States to the Gulf Coast?but faces pressure from environmentalists and others to reject the proposal.

Controversy over the pipeline has dogged the president on other unrelated trips. During a fundraising swing in California last month, the fact that the event was being hosted by pipeline opponent Tom Steyer, a hedge fund billionaire and environmentalist, drew pipeline protesters who sought to draw attention to the issue.

Obama made no references to the pipeline in his public remarks at Ellicott Dredges, but thanked Bowe?who gave the president a tour of the facility?for his work at the company.

Much of the president's speech echoed remarks he made last week in Texas, his first stop on the "Middle Class Jobs & Opportunity Tour." While there he announced manufacturing competitions to create "manufacturing innovation institutes" in the United States.

As he did last week, Obama conceded that Washington may not appear to the public to be a place generating much positive news, but that there are things to celebrate about the economy, including rebounds in the housing market and gains in certain industry sectors.

His standard criticism of members of Congress (whom he has been publicly chastising for stalemates in Washington) appeared to be tempered by the attendance Friday of several Democratic leaders: Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley, Sen. Barbara Mikulski, and Reps. Steny Hoyer, Paul Sarbanes and Elijah Cummings.

"All of your members of Congress every single day are working, fighting on your behalf in terms of making sure we're growing an economy that creates outstanding middle-class jobs," Obama said.

Prior to Ellicott, Obama stopped at Moravia Park Elementary School, where he sat in on a classroom lesson for 4- and 5-year-olds. Later, during his speech at Ellicott, he noted this visit and the goals behind his State of the Union proposal to create universal pre-kindergarten.

He was scheduled next to visit the Center for Urban Families, a nonprofit that aides fathers and families, for a roundtable discussion. That visit will be tied to his Promise Zone budget proposal to identify and assist hard-hit communities, according to the White House.

As the president left Washington earlier on Friday, the House Ways and Means Committee on Capitol Hill grilled the ousted acting commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, Steven Miller, over recent revelations that the IRS targeted conservatives applying for tax-exempt status. After the allegations were confirmed Wednesday by the Treasury Department inspector general's report, Obama announced that Miller had been forced to resign.

That action came amid continued pressure on the administration to explain revisions made to talking points related to the 2012 attack in Benghazi, Libya?to which the White House responded Wednesday by releasing those emails to the media?and controversy surrounding the Department of Justice's secret seizure of Associated Press reporters' and editors' phone records in the investigation of a national security leak.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/obama-leaves-scandals-washington-pushes-jobs-economy-baltimore-160836939.html

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Five step-parenting tips for would-be step parents | Parenting Clan ...

It is an undisputed fact that being a step-parent is more challenging than being a biological parent. When you are a child?s biological parent, you can assert a level of authority which you would otherwise not be able to. Step-parents need to carefully thread the line between friendship and authority. If you are a step-parent or going to become one, below are 5 tips you should bear in mind.

Firstly, you need to remember that when you are a step-parent, you first need to be a friend. Unless your step-child is very young, any step-parent is bound to face some amount of hostility. This is especially true if there are teenagers to deal with. You should not instantly try to become the parent of your step-children. This will only backfire and create tensions in your new relationships. Instead, you should try to first start out as friends, failing which, you will find yourself in a power struggle. In doing so, it may help for you to offer tangible small gifts of friendship to your stepchild. However, do not overdo this as older stepchildren can definitely see through this. For instance, if your stepchild is stressed over an upcoming test, then you may want to present him with some lucky charm that would give a confidence boost.

The second tip would be to discuss parenting rules with your new spouse. Each family is different and so will the parenting rules. As such, it is important for you to be on the same page as your spouse on this regard. Discuss your respective strategies for rewards, chores, punishments, allowances and so on. This way, both of you will be able to come up with a mutually agreeable way of doing things. Similarly, the children will not be confused with each other having different ways of doing things. The transition for children to accept a new member in the family will be much easier if both parents are in sync with the way they do things.

The third tip and fairly important one would be to encourage your stepchild to spend quality time with his/her biological parent(s). It is natural for stepchildren to feel threatened when his/her parents gets married again to a new person. They feel that the new member is snatching their biological parent away from them. If you consciously promote the practice of spending on-to-one time with biological parents, the children will not feel like there is any competition of affection. This makes the transition from friend to step-parent a whole lot easier.

The fourth tip is to know what your boundaries are. A step-parent can never match up to a biological parent and this is especially pertinent where disciplining is concerned. Over-disciplining your step-child can prove to be detrimental as the kid may begin to despise you. Instead, take a step back and allow the biological parent to discipline his/her own children at least initially, till they can accept you as a step-parent. Once a considerable amount of time has been spent trying to earn the children?s respect and affection, then you can begin discipline or at least stand the chance of being listened to.

Finally, you may want to join a support group for step-parents. In such groups, you will be able to receive support and share issues you may be facing. By learning from fellow step-parents, you may be able to gain some valuable insights.

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Source: http://www.parentingclan.com/five-step-parenting-tips-for-would-be-step-parents.html

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MIT's cheetah robot runs faster, more efficiently, can carry its own power supply (video)

When it comes to hunting down humans running speeds, MIT's cheetah might come second to Boston Dynamics' own high-velocity quadruped, but by substituting pneumatics with motors, MIT's version apparently runs far more efficiently. At the recent International Conference on Robotics and Automation, the Institute of Technology showed of its newest version, which reached a top speed of 13.7 mph. To accomplish this, the runner still needs parallel support bars to constrain movement in one dimension, reducing any roll, yaw -- and the chances of a pretty expensive fall. The team says the new version's cost of transport (COT is power consumption divided by weight, times velocity) is around 0.52. In comparison, Honda's Asimo has a hefty COT of 2.

This impressive efficiency is down to the use of electric motors over hydraulics, with a new "three phase permanent magnet synchronous motor" providing the necessary torque. Researchers also used biometric principles to conserve energy and reduce stress on joints, including Kevlar tendons across the back of the legs. With all those efficiency increases, it mean that MIT's cheetah can theoretically run while carrying its own power source. We've added a video after the break, where you can see the bot hit its top speed while carrying some battery dummy weights.

Filed under: Robots

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Via: Spectrum IEEE

Source: MIT Biomimetics

Source: http://feeds.engadget.com/~r/weblogsinc/engadget/~3/a6AehDBGWBw/

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Soul singer Candice Glover wins "American Idol"

By Patricia Reaney

(Reuters) - Candice Glover, a soul singer from rural South Carolina, was named "American Idol" on Thursday and become the first female singer to win the television singing competition since 2007.

Glover, 23, defeated country singer Kree Harrison in the popular vote with her powerful voice in what judges deemed a close contest to take the title on season 12 of the popular Fox network show.

"You are officially our American idol," host Ryan Seacrest said as the crowd of 7,000 in Los Angeles cheered. "Three years, persistence, determination and a lot of talent. You deserve it."

It was third time lucky for Glover, who appeared in two earlier seasons of the show, and finally won the crown by making songs like "Somewhere" from the musical "West Side Story," and the jazz tune "You've Changed" all her own.

"Oh, my God," a shocked Glover said with tears streaming down her face after hearing Securest call her name. "Three years."

Seacrest announced Glover as the winner at the end of the two-hour finale show, which featured performances by judges Keith Urban and Mariah Carey, as well as Aretha Franklin, Jennifer Lopez, rapper Pitbull and South Korea's Psy, who sang his new single "Gentleman."

Glover, the first woman to be crowned "Idol" since Jordin Sparks six years ago, won a record deal, which could help propel her to the stardom enjoyed by other women "Idol" winners such as Grammy Award winners Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

(Reporting by Patricia Reaney in New York; Editing by Bill Trott)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/soul-singer-candice-glover-wins-american-idol-021526684.html

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China says EU solar duties to "seriously harm" trade ties

BEIJING (Reuters) - China warned the European Union on Thursday that imposing duties on Chinese solar panels would "seriously harm" bilateral trade ties, upping the tone of its criticism a week after the EU said it would move ahead with hefty penalties in June.

The European Commission has agreed to impose average import duties of 47 percent on solar panels from China, according to officials, a move they say is to guard against the dumping of cheap goods in Europe.

China's Ministry of Commerce spokesman Shen Danyang said he hoped reports about the duties were unreliable.

"If this information is true, this action by the European Union would seriously harm China-Europe trade relations," Shen told a news conference.

Shen said "provoking trade friction with China" was like "dropping a boulder on one's own foot" and would not help Europe break free from economic crisis.

Trade friction between China and the EU is already high. The EU has 31 trade investigations, 18 of them involving China. The solar case is the largest to date, impacting 21 billion euros ($26.9 billion) of imported Chinese solar panels, cells and wafers.

The Commission said this week it was prepared to launch another investigation into anti-competitive behavior by Chinese producers of mobile telecoms equipment.

China is expected to decide in June whether to levy its own duties on imported European, U.S. and South Korean solar-grade polysilicon, a raw material used in solar panel production.

The English-language China Daily newspaper cited an official with the surname Zhang as saying the Ministry of Commerce was likely waiting for an official EU decision before issuing its polysilicon ruling.

The EU solar duties would come into effect once the Commission publishes the decision in its Official Journal. Beijing has said it will defend against what is calls protectionist behavior.

On his first overseas trip since taking the office in March, Chinese Premier Li Keqiang at the end of May will stop in Germany, the world's biggest solar market last year.

German officials have called the European Commission's stance on the solar duties "hard" and say they are urging it to reach an amicable solution with China.

(Reporting by Michael Martina and Aileen Wang; Editing by Ron Popeski)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/china-says-eu-solar-duties-seriously-harm-trade-085930971.html

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Mixed messages on Nexus Q support suggest Google doesn't know what to do with it, either

Yesterday there was some pretty damning news for owners of Google's Nexus Q musical orb: the device isn't supported in the current version of the its Play Music app. This much is undoubtedly true, and verified by many owners. What's less clear, however, is whether this really is the end of the road. All the signs may be there, but some readers have forwarded us emails received from Google Play Support advising that a fix for Nexus Q streaming is definitely on the way. We contacted Google directly, but it was unable to give an official statement on the issue. We were simply told that the developer product never made it to commercial release, and as such the company can't promise either way. Mountain View isn't shy about shuttering much-loved services, so Nexus Q owners might take a small amount of solace from this current ambiguity, at least enough to delay taking matters into their own hands.

Filed under: Home Entertainment, Peripherals, Google

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Source: http://feeds.engadget.com/~r/weblogsinc/engadget/~3/m10tQdPqSJs/

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